its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize