is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
