I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
