I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize