Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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