My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Life is so much better after having sex.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
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