Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
