I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Randomize
