They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
