I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
