i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
