I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How's work?
Spinning.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
