My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i believe in u and ur pee
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
