If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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