But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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