woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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