loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
