# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
