She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
