Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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