We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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