between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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