oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
