I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize