Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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