i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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