So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
