I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
