Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
