Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
PANTIES FOUND
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
