Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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