You smell like stripper and shame
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
