He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
