Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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