I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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