Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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