WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
