If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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