I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
