i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
