I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh god it's open bar.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
