I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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