Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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