I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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