If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
