If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
True college students do jello shots in the library
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
