His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
