His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
