dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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