I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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