I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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