I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
