At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
