I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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