we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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