Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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