I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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