We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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