I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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