good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
