He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
that may or may not have been my penis.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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