so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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