we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
