I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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