He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
