i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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