And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
