At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
