we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
