Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
