For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Randomize
