I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Randomize
