just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
