i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
