Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize