My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
