I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
