You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she told me i tasted like america
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
