Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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