i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
