I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
