I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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